Normally I wait up for Hubby to get home from work. Last night I was just too tired and fell asleep before he got here. Apparently I woke up when he got home. I grumbled mean things about him waking me up and threw my sleep-mask at him. I don't remember any of this because, well, I was still asleep.
This morning he woke me up with breakfast in bed from Chik-fil-a. A bit later I got up to make my coffee and saw him in the kitchen making it for me.
Later still he told me about my little sleepy outburst last night and told me it hurt his feelings. I apologized profusely and let him know I didn't even remember! We laughed it off over cuddles in bed.
But here's the important thing, even after I hurt his feelings and acted like a jackass, he still went out of his way to make my morning nice. No grudges were held for my bad behavior and no hateful digs were made in retaliation.
In return I will go out of my way every day of my life for that one little gift he gave me this morning: forgiveness. Sound like overkill - I'll go out of my way everyday for the rest of my life, for that?? Well I assure you it's not.
When I go on and on about how amazing my husband is, it's because he is. Imagine the biggest lottery ever held. Now imagine YOU won it. That's how I feel every single day being married to him. I can't help but shout my happiness, amazement, and awe from the rooftops.
Ladies, you should feel that way about your own husbands. And guys, you should feel that way about your own wives. If you don't it's not them that needs to change, it's your perception that needs changing. Instead of being pissed off about the million things they do wrong, pay attention to what they do right. Be on the lookout for it and shout that shit from the rooftops!!
When your spouse does something thoughtful, praise them and let them know how much you appreciate it... no matter how trivial it seems, no matter how small. I promise you will see a difference! It does take time, but you truly do reap what you sow. So just maybe try sowing seeds of love instead of nitpicking at all the little weeds you see.
Our marriage wasn't always the ridiculously romantic dream it is now. But I started seeing breakfasts in bed, thoughtful gestures, and (more importantly) forgiveness of my own faults when I extended the same grace to him. It's a 'vicious' circle you'll be happy to find yourself 'trapped' in: love & happiness begets more love & happiness!
A successful marriage should be like that. Letting go of the bullshit and concentrating on the everyday, little-tiny, good things.
Put that thought in your pipe and smoke it.