Husband and I are coming up on our 20th first date anniversary (yes we celebrate that) and it's the start of wedding season.... So I thought I'd share a little wedding day wisdom and a wedding planning tip:
When Hubs and I married we had under 50 guests. Less than $1000 total was spent (dress, flowers, food, cake, venue, decor, etc). Our wedding was simple, to say the least...
We were quite young and no one took us seriously, which is why our families were so reluctant to help. In fact people on both sides of our families kept telling us to call it off.
I was knocked up and no one made pregnancy wedding gowns back then. I found a lady in the yellow pages who felt sorry for me and she made me a dress for the cost of the materials. I got no say in our wedding planning, except to pick out the flowers for my bouquet (calla lilies, a funeral flower... I didn't know that at the time).
We were dirt poor at the time but my one bridesmaid threw a fit and wanted to wear a white dress she already had and refused to buy a new one. So I had to buy her a dress if I didn't want her matching me. I bought her a black one hahaha... we're no longer friends. My grandmother wore a white lace dress anyway. Even my mom was like, meh. I had to argue with her to go shopping to get a dress to wear.
My stepmom borrowed potted ferns from her friend and those were our decor. My brother showed up in a grubby polo shirt and a hangover. My stepmom had a conniption about my mom and dad lighting my unity candle, right before it was supposed to happen, so my brother and mom lit it (which makes no sense). Everyone argued that Our baby son needed to stay in the nursery, so he didn't get to be a part of our day like I wanted. We said our vows and afterward my uncle took snapshots of us. Then we stood around in the church mess hall eating cake and homemade finger foods until our reserved one hour time was up... then we left. There was no music and we didn't get a first dance.
My inlaws got us a room at a local hotel for one night and that was our honeymoon. My bridesmaid brought over an expensive bottle of champagne that I couldn't drink... and that she kept reminding me was expensive, so I should drink it anyway (I didn't). Hub's friends also showed up at our hotel room and he got drunk with them. I was pregnant so I sat there bored. We ordered pizza, hung out, and our friends finally left. We consummated our marriage, hubs passed out, and I ordered a movie (The Cable Guy)... Then I went to sleep. The next day we ate our free hotel breakfast and we went home. He carried my large ass over the threshold of our little government apartment and we went about building a life together.
Technically speaking we literally had the worst wedding/honeymoon in the history of shitty worst weddings/honeymoons... But we look back on that day with love and fondness. Hubby and I laugh about all the ridiculousness of it and neither of us would change a thing. It's a great story to tell our future grandkids. Aaaaand we've been married for almost 20 years now (come November), so there's that.
So, ALL OF THAT SAID, this is my wedding planning tip:
Weddings really don't mean shit. The events of your wedding day mean exactly what you make of it in the scheme of your marriage. Either your marriage will be a good one and you'll look back on that day with love *OR* your marriage will be a shitty one and you'll look back on it with regret. But what actually happens that day and/or how much you spend on it doesn't really matter. So don't sweat it and just concentrate on the part that comes after your wedding... The marriage.
and now. ❤️